From The Ballad of the Sad Café
Carson McCullers, The Ballad of the Sad Café
“It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is for ever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possible relation with the beloved, even if this experience can cause him only pain.”
I found this passage startlingly stark and candid, and even true in some sense.