She’s been on the treadmill at the gym for the last hour, doing a slow jog at 3.75 mph. Hey, she says, to her husband on the way in the house, snapping her sweat-soaked sports bra in his direction. He doesn’t move, engrossed in a game of WOW, World of Warcraft, on his laptop. She can hear the internet nerds shouting, laughing, burping through the headset with one earphone and a small mic. The shower runs hot and cold, back and forth between steam and the huddling in the back near the loofa and shampoos, waiting for the freezing temperatures to cease. If she catches the change fast enough, she can twist the nozzle toward the wall. It is then that the woman takes down the shower head, squats in the shower, and starts thinking of her husband, warm and sweaty in his day-old boxers. Husband! she yells, I want to have sex! and gets out of the shower. But alas, he is in the middle of the game, at no place where he can logically quit without disappointing his internet friends. She yanks him up by the arm and pulls down his jeans and underwear, leaving them crumpled around his ankles. Slowly, she pulls on his penis, too hard at first, but he’s smiling and talking about level this and elf that, sliding his fingers around on the touch pad. She hears one guy burp, another laugh. The volume is loud, so she focuses her energy on ignoring them and erecting him. The process is slow, though, because while he is being touched, other men laugh and joke in his ear, unaware of what the wife is doing. They bring the laptop to the bed, stretching the cord its full length, and he keeps playing. Damage points this, dwarf that. The woman flips her hand the other way, so her fingers are on the bottom of his penis and the palm on top. He says he likes that and clicks the left button. She touches herself. He finishes the game and closes the laptop. She lays on her back and he’s having sex with her. She says god, oh god. She orgasms. She says let’s go for two. She says you’re like an animal. You’re doing it animal style. Not doggy style, but fierce, like an animal. He says in and out, in and out. He says if this were the In & Out Burger that animal style would be with onions and mustard grilled inside the patty. They’re delicious. They have a drive through. He’ll drive through her. She’s laughing now. She won’t go for two; things are too funny now. He says the lube is going dry anyway. She says he’s had that lube since they met, since the first time they had sex. That means he’s used that lube with some other woman. He says he doesn’t recall buying lube. She says that means that lube was bought by someone else and left at his apartment, that some other woman used that lube with some other man or men and used it with him too, and now he uses it with his wife. She says the first time she stayed the night there was a hair tie on his nightstand that she used. It wasn’t hers, but she kept using it. He says huh. He says why did you marry me? He says that stuff was made back when the iPhone was still a cool threat to come. They crush each other shoulder to shoulder, hands on backs.