My older sister said
a blue cloud would appear,
she’d know

if I ever did, but I never had
done that in the pool.

I couldn’t wait to see it,
the blue cloud filling the sky
following me as I swam

its blue transparent
floating above our walnut tree,
the tree cast in shadow.

That same day—the guilty
warmth. Then the waiting—

no cloud there—
only the silence
of me not telling her, one of many

that hardened between us.